I really do not want to moan and groan about social media nuttiness. But sometimes, things get a bit ridiculous.

I am a top stumbler – a Top Stumbler is, according to StumbleUpon, someone who contributes a lot to SU, through his discoveries, reviews, thumbs ups and tags. I do a lot of that, it is easy as I am always on the Net for work, and it is easy to open a tab where I keep stumbling and reviewing. That does not make me an expert on SU – or a super networker. There are people with 100 times more powerful accounts in SU.

But it makes me someone who uses SU a lot. Therefore, I see a lot of these guys below:

The Idiot Fan

My biggest issue is the number of fans. I have almost a thousand fans! That is no small number. In theory, it means that a lot of people like what I discover and stumble, and would like to follow my stumbles using the StumbleUpon toolbar. In practise, it means that people see my avatar in the top stumblers list, come to my profile and add me as a friend. They think that it would be great somehow to add a Top Stumbler as a friend, and he / she would add you back. Not so. But they keep doing that.

Now, I would add anyone back as a mutual friend, if I know they really like my stumbles. How do I know that?

I keep checking back on my discoveries and pages liked to see who all have thumbed up what I liked. If I don’t see your avatar among people who have liked what I liked, then how does that make you my fan or friend? Being my fan means SU would send my stumbles to people who use the toolbar, they would like my stumbles, and thumb them up too. So a fan or friend should like what I do. If you never ever thumb what I stumble, why are you my fan? Why join a political party and never vote?

SU Spammers

These are the fools who will send you messages that go: “hi, I have been checking / following your stumbles and I really think our interests match. Hope you will add me as a friend / check out this site of mine”.

Checking or following my blog? I can always check back to your profile. And I see you have never ever done that. Not a single thumbs up from you on any of my discoveries. Why, yout total stumbles are probably 20 or 100, the amount I stumble in an hour!

The spammer idiot thinks that you would add him back, check his website, thumb it up… I don’t know. Trust me, never gonna happen.

Bikini babes

Yea, that super-sexy blonde bombshell is certainly you, I believe that.

Someone told me this is pink-hat-SEO. Get you to visit them by showing you the pic of a girl in a bikini, legs, bums, big boobies or whatever.

Waste of time, I think.

I know there are a few who just like to have a pic of a girl in a bikini in their avatar. Fair enough.

But when I see you messaging me, then it won’t fool me. Bikini or nude, I would check your blog to see how active you are.

If you are active, you could wear a bikini or even Stumble naked, and I won’t care.

Psycho Thumb Downers

Suspect in his late teens. Will thumb down stuff because

• he got bullied at school
• girlfriend refused oral sex
• cop broke his skateboard
• does not like certain colors

Yea, say he does not like red; he would thumb down a site with a picture of red sky on Mars because he does not like red. Psycho.

Then he would thumb down a story which actually supports their point of view because someone quoted in the story opposed their point of view. It matters not to the Psycho Thumb Downer that the story thoroughly refutes and demolishes what that guy said. “Something I do not like appears in this story as a point of view, THUMB DOWN, BUWAHAHA” describes the philosophy of the Psycho SU user.

Read the effing story, dumb ass. Or better still, join Digg. They love you there. Reddit is too smart for you.

The Maniac Send To user

The send-to button is there to send stories to users. Fine. But how many do you send? The Maniac Send To user would send his site every morning, afternoon and night to you.

Now remember, the maniac can do this because he is already my friend. He is not without a brain, he knows his SU. Except for one thing: SU can track what you send. So if you are all the time sending your own blog posts, SU obviously knows you are marketing your own site – and will probably discount the stumbles on your blog.

Also, say I thumb your post every day. That is a pattern. Obviously, I would blindly thumb anything you send me. It is certain that any half-baked algo (yes, even Google’s algo!) would be able to catch it and discount it.

Why bother, man? Why waste my thumb-up by devaluing it – asking me vote your blog daily? Send it to me once a week, and you probably will actually gain a lot. In fact, if you send your blog posts only occasionally, the thumbs ups you get will remain valuable and send even more traffic.

Who is the least harmful of the above?

The SU bikini girl! She at least shows you pics of boobies.

Hey, no offense

And now to the honest SU user who still doesn’t have a clue. You are like me when I started. I mean, the Idiot But Will Learn category of user. Don’t worry, this is normal.

You are here for fun, or profit. Both are fine by me. SU rewards you with friends, brilliant stories to see and read, and even traffic to your blog or site, if you just take it easy.

Initially stumble a lot with the toolbar, learn the ins and outs, search SU or Google for some guides on SU, and make friends. Make friends here means you find some people you like, religiously check their discoveries and liked pages, thumb them if you like them – and just continue.

The more pages you stumble, the more credible you will become in SU – and you would make friends naturally.

Promoting your page on Day One, on the other hand, is the beginning of a big waste of time.